8 Ferme Park Road London N4 4ED

Tel: 0208 347 9180

Mon, Tue, Thur & Fri 08.30 - 18.30, Sat - 10:00 - 17:00

Wed & Sun variable opening & hours ring to check on the day
Summer Holiday Closing 1st August to September 1st 2020

Membership

GOLD: Gold membership @ £64.95 gives you a Free Bike Service worth £80 (Gold member services must be taken from September to March). Please note all courses and classes have sadly been suspended until further notice.

About Micycle

Our Truly Useless Government

By no means an exhaustive and in no particular order I give you their lowlights:

-Government official numbers of deaths due to CoVid 19 46,500+

-Excess death numbers, a little more reliable 66,000+

-Highest excess numbers of deaths in the whole of Europe, ONS announced 30th July

-Mr Johnson speech 30th July boastfully announcing what a great job his government has done in bring the numbers of deaths down and its handling of the epidemic.

-152 million spent on useless face masks from a mate of Liz truss

-A levels

-Level 3 BTECH results

-GCE's

-Sneakily removing 1.3m CoVid19 test results

-"Ring of steel around our care homes"

-Failing in their promise to test everyone in care homes by Aug 1st

-Their quite shocking honours list

-"Operation last gasp"

-Blaming care home providers

-Blaming care home staff

-29th July Minster stated they had not sent infected people into care homes

-Mr Johnson gas lighting care home staff saying he never said what he said

-Mr Hancock lying in the house of commons that he ordered lock down on the 16th March

-NHS hospital parking charges for NHS workers

-Blaming the Unions

-Blaming the Teachers

-Blaming the Civil Service

-Blaming the public

-Passing the reasonability of workers returning to work onto employers

-Mr Johnson announcing lockdown on the 23rd March

-21,600 deaths in care homes to date due to CoVid 19 (40% of all deaths due to CoVid 19)

-Excess deaths in care homes this year 31,000+

-Second highest death rate per head of residents in care homes in EU

-Worst numbers of deaths in Europe due to CoVid19

-Second worst death rate per head of population in the world due to CoVid 19

-Higher death rate on a single day than the entire rest of EU

-Higher death rate on most days than the following countries have had for the whole of the outbreak and this is just in the EU: Greece, Slovenian, Slovakia, Lithuania, Croatia

-3rd July UK 1.8% of global deaths we only represent 1% of world population

-23rd March UK deaths due to CoVid 19 one hundred and six.

-8th July UK deaths due to CoVid 19 one hundred and twenty six

-"We have done a great job on bearing down on this virus"

-"The world will be taking note just how well we have performed"

-"Our test and trace system is as good or better than anywhere else in the world"

-"It should be all over by Christmas"

-Pushing responsibility of returning to work onto employers

-Mr Grayling being made head of the intelligence committee

-Mr Fayling even messing this up

-Trying to to avoid blame for Russia's involvement in the Brexit referendum

-Putting Mr Fox up for head of the WTO

-Forgetting the self employed

-"We will make sure no one is forgotten"

-"I don't do gesture politics"

-"Whack-a-mole"

-Ignoring Cygnus and the short comings it highlighted

-Third & fourth rate cabinet minsters

-Billions spent / wasted on no deal Brexit

-The Farage Cark Parks near major ports

-Cost of above carparks

-Government projected additional costs of UK business trading with the EU 7bn

-End of free health care in Europe

-End of working rights in 27 European countries

-End of free travel across Europe

-English exceptionalism

-"Contract trace and taste"

-Under reporting numbers of deaths for at least 22 days in April

-Testing capacity

-Lying throughout May of the number of people being tested

-Stopping reporting of numbers of people tested daily weekly and monthly

-Stopping reporting of numbers of deaths

-Double counting / testing / PPE

-"World beating track and trace app."

-Self congratulation at every stage

-The no show app. (11 million spent with vote leave spivs)

-PPE

-Mr Cummings, Easter Holiday / Birthday Parties / Eye Test

-Mr Cummings contemptible rose garden drivel

-Mr Johnson senior contemptible drivel from Greece

-Mr Johnson junior contemptible drivel at PMQs

-Lying constantly at PMQs, lame jokes and infantile behaviour

-One rule for them another for the rest of us

-Unable to speak in sentences

-Dyson ventilators

-Not enough high pressure oxygen to meet demands even though this is what Mr Johnson was treated with so successfully

-Changing admission criteria to hospital the day before Mr Johnson was admitted

-Constant mixed messages

-Russian report

-Never even bothering to investigate whether there was any interference in any of our recent referendums and or elections

-Back to school planning

-8th July Tory party cancel their physical September Conference

-8th July Government announce that all parents who do not send their children to school in September will be fined £60.00 per day.

-Free school meals

-Charging EU NHS workers for their health care

-Herd Immunity

-Date of lock down

-Holding back of Pillar 2 data

-Date of Leicester lock down

-"Local councils should show some courage"

-R rate at lock down

-Date of easing of lock down

-R rate at easing of lock down

-Miss information on R rate

-Face masks

-12th July Mr Gove defending not wearing face masks, 14th July government policy now have to wear face masks in all shops

-British common sense

-Lying in The House of Commons

-"Squash the Sombrero"

-"Take it on the chin"

-"I shook hands with everyone"

-Disappearances of comparisons the moment we over took the rest of Europe

-No proper planning for any phase of this terrible epidemic

-Date of introduction of quarantine at borders

-Shambolic air bridges

-6am opening of pubs in England 4th July

They should show some humility, apologies for their abject failures and on mass resign.

Remember Mr Johnson and Mr Cummings are nasty lying knobs.

Micycle Team

If you would like us to add any more to the list, that we might of missed, as sadly their lies have made it almost impossible to listen to their bilge day in day out. Please email us at contact@micycle.org.uk

Exciting New Job at Micycle

We are looking to for a unique induvial to join the team, Initially on a six months contract, Part time. Starting in September 2020.

Job Description:
Trainee cycle mechanic also responsible for the content and up dating the Micycle web site and promoting the shop on social media.

No formally qualifications necessary.

The ideal person will have some or all of the attributes listed below:

Aged between 16 and 25 years old.
Love of bicycles.
Social skills.
Tech skills.
Interest in politics.
Sense of fun.

If interested in the first place send a very brief CV max one A4.
Also have a look at the web site and send a sample piece of content that you think would fit into the News section on any subject you want. Max 125 words.

To: matthew@micycle.org.uk

Many thanks for looking

Micycle servicing - From only £40.00

Every bike needs attention from time to time depending on use and style of ridding.
Bike services we offer are outlined below.

Free (Spin) Bikes For NHS Workers

To help show our gratitude for your supreme efforts.
We at Micycle have a number of Spin bikes that we would like to loan out free of charge to any NHS workers.
That are either self-isolating or just keen to keep fit in these strange and stressful times.
We will arrange delivery and pickup.
If interested please call Matthew on 07973195920 to discuss.

One bike left!

Many thanks to all our NHS workers we all owe you big time.

31st Jan 2020 Sad Day For The UK

We at Micycle have nothing but contempt for the chancers and spivs that have with the help of a bent referendum brought us to this very depressing moment in history.

If you are one of the above please jog on and find another bike shop. You are quite simply not welcome here!

We want to show all our European customers love and support, so all bills paid for in Euros will get a 10% discount.

Thanks Micycle
LONG LIVE THE EU
Johnson and Cummings are Knobs

Booking In Information For Leavers

My Dear Leavers

You just want Brexit!

So we have decided to give you a WTO terms Brexit today.
The first company in the UK to do this.

Remainers will of course see no difference in our services.

But for all you leavers there will be a WTO 28% tariff on all work on your bicycle. Of course all bills can be paid for in Euros.
Also FYI your bicycle will only be worked when we have completed all the remoaners's bicycles.

We at Micycle want you to be happy and to own your Brexit, as soon as possible.

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